It’s interesting how a great manager can stay with you for years, even decades.

Early in my career, one gave me some of the best feedback I’ve ever received. I was working in account management, dealing with a tricky client situation. I wasn’t sure how to proceed, so I went to my manager looking for guidance.

Her response was simple. “What do you think?”

I remember being slightly thrown. It wasn’t the answer I expected. I was looking for direction. You might read what she said and even think, that’s not feedback. I’d argue it was some of the best I’ve ever had.

She knew I was capable. And from the way I described the situation, she likely knew I already had an answer. I just hadn’t slowed down enough to see it. That question made me pause. It created space to think. And in doing so, it helped me arrive at my own answer.

That’s what great feedback does. It doesn’t just provide information. It creates learning that lasts well beyond the moment.

For leaders, this requires judgement. There are three things to weigh up.

First, the situation. How high are the stakes? What’s the potential impact on the client, the business, or your reputation?

Second, the person. Do they have the capability? Where are they strong, and where might they need support?

Third, the direction. There may be multiple reasonable paths. Which one best aligns with your priorities?

When you consider these together, you decide how much to step in. And often, what feels counterintuitive is right. Say and do less. 

Think of feedback as a course correction. A small, precise nudge. Not a full solution. Because when you give less, you create space for ownership. People engage their own thinking. They build confidence by making their own decisions. They learn how to navigate complexity, not just follow instruction.

The most effective feedback becomes a conversation. You may already know what you want to say. Instead of telling, turn it into a question that leads there. Then let the dialogue open up.

This matters even more when feedback hasn’t been asked for. Questions open thinking. They invite engagement. They create the conditions for insight.  And successful leaders understand this. The people closest to the work often have the clearest view of what’s really happening. Your role is not to override that. It’s to shape it.

To guide. To refine. To strengthen.

Because leadership is not about having all the answers. It’s about knowing when not to give them.

This is part of a broader theme explored in Leadership Attention – where attention goes, execution follows.